QLD, Australia, 2018

I knew in my gut for many years that I had a problematic relationship with alcohol, but what ultimately gave me the push to quit drinking was the intense hangxiety (hangover anxiety) that I experienced every time I drank.

I would wake up in the morning feeling absolutely panicked about what might have happened the night before. Did I do something bad? Did I say anything embarrassing? Are people mad at me? Are there parts of the night I don’t remember? Even if my friends reassured me that nothing went wrong, I would spend all day crippled with anxiety and wanting to crawl out of my skin to escape my feelings of panic and existential dread.

I never hit a stereotypical “rock bottom” with my drinking. Rather than an external event, it was ultimately how drinking was making me feel on the inside that gave me the push to quit. I woke up hungover one morning after an ordinary, uneventful night of drinking and I had a crystal clear moment of: “I cannot stand to feel this way anymore.”

It took a few tries for my sobriety to stick. My 4th Day One is the one that stuck, and I got sober for good at 27 years old on November 8th, 2020.

One of the most challenging parts of getting sober for me was the grieving process. I associated drinking with fun, relaxation, connection, and celebration, and giving it up genuinely felt like grieving a breakup with someone I loved. I had to let go of my romanticized idea of alcohol and begin to replace it with the truth, which was that alcohol was doing way more harm than good in my life.

Another thing I had to let go of was the voice of self-doubt telling me my drinking wasn’t actually “bad enough” for me to have quit. I had never hit a dramatic rock bottom and my life looked perfectly fine from the outside. Maybe I was just being dramatic? Maybe I needed to give moderation one more try?

But what I came to learn is that you hit rock bottom when you stop digging. It takes a lot of courage to make the decision to get sober, and if it wasn’t really “that bad” then I wouldn’t have been trying to get sober in the first place. Most of all: I didn’t have to wait for my whole life to be falling apart to decide that I wanted more for myself.

Early sobriety means sitting with a lot of uncomfortable feelings and navigating new and challenging things. But there is absolute magic and transformation waiting on the other side of those hard things!

Sobriety has transformed my life in every way possible. I’ve connected to a greater sense of joy, purpose, and gratitude (and yes, fun!) than I ever experienced when I was drinking. Sobriety has given me levels of self-love and confidence that I never could’ve imagined in my drinking days. After years of waking up full of shame, I now wake up truly proud of the person I am today.

I’m living life with a clear mind rather than dulling it with alcohol. I’m replacing drunk regrets with memories I’ll actually remember. Sobriety feels like complete and total freedom. My life didn’t stop when I put down the bottle - that’s when it really began.

I’ve helped people all over the world quit drinking, and it is truly the joy of my life to witness other people discover the magic of sobriety for themselves. I run a sober support group called The Happiest Sober Hub, where I connect with members via zoom meetings and support them on their sober journeys. I host a weekly podcast all about navigating life in sobriety. And I’ve hosted 4 international sober group trips.

I live in Toronto, Canada with my husband Eddie who is also sober (as fate would have it, we met on the very first sober group trip I hosted in Costa Rica!).

I used to imagine that getting sober would make my life smaller. But the exact opposite has been true… it’s expanded my life in every way possible. My world was getting smaller and smaller as it revolved more and more around alcohol. Since getting sober, I live a much bigger and braver life than I ever could’ve dreamed of in my drinking days.

If you’ve made it this far, here are some fun get-to-know-you facts about me!

• I am coffee OBSESSED. I drink black coffee all day long (and I love a mid-day iced coffee for a pick-me-up).

• I’m extremely close with my mom who is 40+ years sober (she also hosts meetings in the Happiest Sober Hub and joins me regularly on my podcast) and I have two older sisters who are my best friends.

• I play guitar and a bit of keyboard and drums!

• I love to travel, and despite being an anxious flyer who used to rely on alcohol to get on a plane, I’ve flown 49 times since getting sober! Sobriety makes us BRAVER.

• I am an ice cream enthusiast and a big believer in always ordering dessert.

• My guilty pleasure is reality TV (especially Bravo).

• Few things bring me more joy than a car singalong on a road trip.

• I love going to concerts and comedy shows (top tier sober outings in my opinion because both music and laughter gives us the best natural high!)

• I’m a morning person and one of my greatest simple joys is watching the sunrise.

• I love self-help books, personal growth, and spirituality. I try to meditate every day. Keyword: try :)